Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
