he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize
