This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
