i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
