when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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