we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I want to be your penis for a week.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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