After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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