So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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