We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
