A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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