Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
