I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
