The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
