I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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