Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
