You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
