I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
