I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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