That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
