We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize