PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
