it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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