oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
