You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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