dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
