just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
