There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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