Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
