RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
