just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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