paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
