i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
