her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
