Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
