You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
As shirtless as possible
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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