its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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