we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
