it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
