the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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