Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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