R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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