You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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