So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
