Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
