you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
