you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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