she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
