He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
