Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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