I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I love you.
Bad choice
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