JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
