why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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